Hey guys! This week was pretty laid back. I spent most of it at home, but I did go out a couple times. I focused a lot on productivity and patience.
A Struggle From This Week
One struggle from this week came packaged within a joy – my new parakeet Marlowe (related – Weekly Update 8/26/21 – Taking the Leap.) Marlowe is the absolute sweetest little baby, but she’s still quite shy. Although she was hand-raised by a breeder and knows how to interact with humans on a general level, she isn’t used to me personally and we’re still working on our bond. Sometimes when I put my hand in the cage, she shrieks and jumps away from me. Other times, she’ll run away from me when we sit on the bedroom floor. She also is scared to try fruits, veggies, and treats, even though they’re good for her. I want the best for my sweet bird, but sometimes her behavior frustrates me. I think, Why can’t you just love me back?!?
But then I realize how afraid she is. Imagine knowing only a few people your whole life, then getting suddenly separated from all of them. Imagine getting along with everyone, but trusting no one. Imagine a near stranger trying to get close to you and offer you things all the time. There’s no way that’s not intimidating, especially for a small creature. It can take parakeets months to bond with a new caretaker.
And yet, just because Marlowe’s afraid, she isn’t avoiding me completely. Every day, she dares to come an inch or two closer. If I’m still, she’ll climb up on me. Sometimes I feel her playing with my hair, and every once in a while, she’ll chirp or sing in my direction. When I talk to her, she closes her eyes and rocks gently, on the verge of sleep.
Through all her actions, Marlowe is reminding me to be patient. Sometimes, although you’re working as hard as you can, you have to let things come to you. It’s okay. You will find what you’re searching for.
Aside from caring for Marlowe, I’ve been putting my energy into other things that come with rewards. On Tuesday, my mom and I went to a farmers’ market, where I was able to buy some cool local goods and make some meaningful connections. It felt great to talk with local business owners and support their work, plus I got some awesome snacks for Marlowe and I (that is, if she’ll eat them. Otherwise, I’m happy to finish them myself. Related – What Autistic Food Difficulties Feel Like.)
A Win From This Week
Since Marlowe’s here now, I’ve had plenty of motivation to keep my room clean. Well, I usually had it all nice and tidy before, but now, it’s a constant thing! Being alone in my room meant that I could do whatever I wanted, but now I have a tiny roommate and she needs plenty of space to roam around and play. I haven’t stopped at just my room, either. I also cleaned my sisters’ rooms, the living room, the hallway, the kitchen, the dining room, and the upstairs bathrooms. I just couldn’t stop!
In between cleaning, I also did some cooking, reading, writing, sewing, drawing, and working. My boyfriend is getting his bachelor’s degree. When he comes home on the weekends, I like preparing him some meals to take back to his dorm and have during the week. He never asks and never has an expectation for me – it’s just something I really enjoy doing! I also cooked dinner for my sisters and I one night (accidentally added too much milk to the mac and cheese, but it was okay.) I also really liked rinsing and cutting up fruits and veggies for Marlowe to try, even though she’s still a bit apprehensive. I’ve found that if I love someone, I really enjoy feeding them!
Like I mentioned, I also did some reading, writing, and sewing. Right now, I’m rereading The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale. I read it a long time ago, but I wanted to revisit it. It’s pretty good so far! I’ve also been writing for this blog, something I find really calming. I’ve been doing some sketches, as well as sewing a dress (Marlowe loves the sound of the sewing machine, by the way!)
Lastly, I’ve been doing some work for my job. I work from home for a lady from my church and I really enjoy my job! Projects have been picking up lately and it’s so fun working through them!
I’m so so so grateful that I’ve been able to be productive and find joy in my activities this week. It’s amazing to have so much time and energy to build myself and others up!
I feel similarly with animals sometimes. I really understand cats and I feel that a lot of people hate them when really they just havent learned how to empathize with a cat. They’re territorial by nature and as the owner it’s something i need to consider as one of their needs.
Definitely!