What Autistic Food Difficulties Feel Like

As many of you visiting this site may know, April is Autism Awareness month.  Because of this designation, I spent a lot of time thinking about my autism and how it affects me.  I ended up writing a post on Facebook to my friends and family about what autistic food sensory issues are like.  I’m going to repost that here so I can further spread this awareness, and maybe some of you can even relate.

Want to listen instead? Check out the video!

Since it’s Autism Awareness Month, I thought I’d write a bit about my personal experience with a rarely-discussed, frequently misunderstood issue a lot of autistic people face – food sensitivity.

For me, food sensitivity has been something I’ve dealt with since I was a baby.  There are certain foods I just can’t eat, and even the foods I do enjoy can be affected by different conditions.  For example, if a food is usually served hot, like pizza or fries, I HAVE to have it hot.  Tell me right away when it’s ready.  I’d much rather burn my mouth than eat something lukewarm, or worse, cold.  I have lots of rules.  Macaroni can’t be too sticky.  Don’t put nuts in sweets or mix too many flavors.  No reheating leftovers because the microwave messes them up.  Produce has to be rinsed thoroughly to avoid that soapy taste.  Nothing can be past the expiration date, not even by one day, because that’s too risky.  And I don’t eat meat.  At all.

Reading this, you probably think I’m picky.  I am, in a way, but not for the reasons you think.  These aren’t just simple preferences for me.  If I encounter a food I don’t like, I physically cannot eat it.  I have to force my jaw open and closed to chew.  My throat closes up so I can’t swallow.  Sometimes I get nauseous, or even vomit.  This has even happened just by smells.

I wish I wasn’t like this.  I feel awful going into a restaurant and not being open to the meal of the day, famous menu items, or recommendations from waitstaff.  I hate confusing people by ordering food with ingredient changes or a “burger with no meat.”  The worst is when friends and family make something that I know my body will reject.  The very last thing I want to do is offend or hurt them.  Most of the time, I have to choose the lesser of two evils – outright refusing to eat it instead of taking a bite and not being able to finish.

I’ve gotten better over the years.  Peanut butter used to be a “no” food for me.  So were green beans, spaghetti, and cottage cheese.  Now I love all of them!  But change is slow, and while I know certain things will get better, I don’t ever expect myself to suddenly like every food in every situation.  There will always be struggles.  I cannot force my progress.

I also wish to say that while there are certain foods I personally cannot eat, I don’t condemn or think badly of anyone for liking them.  For example, me being a vegetarian doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your steak.  You can totally have your cold pizza or reheated leftovers.  That doesn’t bother me!  As a matter of fact, I like it when people are willing to eat what I can’t – there’s less waste.  And sometimes, deep down, I wish that I could enjoy some of those foods too.

Autism can affect many different areas of life.  Food is one of them.  Not everyone is going to understand, and that’s okay.  I just ask that you listen, be accepting, and most of all, be kind.