How Autism Affects My Other Conditions

Hello everyone.  Since autism is not my only disorder, I wanted to share how it affects the symptoms of the other conditions I have.  A lot of the time, autism can heighten the feelings of oversensitivity and rejection that these disorders bring on, as well as have unique effects on specific conditions.  I want to bring some awareness as to how these comorbidities work and how I try to heal.

Generalized anxiety disorder.  I have generalized anxiety disorder, meaning that my brain often misinterprets things as being more threatening than they are, causing me to worry excessively.  Personally, I’ve found that my autism tends to make me worry more, since I’m already oversensitive to certain stimuli and situations and I often tend to doubt my abilities to make it through events.  I find that writing things down beforehand to remind myself of what is most likely to happen as well as arriving early and finding safe places are immensely helpful.

Social anxiety disorder.  I feel a lot of fear around people and social situations.  I’m constantly worried I’m going to mess up in a conversation or give off a bad vibe or ruin my own reputation somehow.  It can be really stressful.  Since autism can cause difficulty communicating and interpreting others’ cues, so much of my K-12 time was devoted to drilling into my head that I was always in the wrong and that I had to be hypervigilant about interacting with others.  It really lowered my self-esteem and prevented me from taking action and feeling worthy of companionship, things that still affect me today.  I have to keep in mind that I often do better in social situations than I expect and that the harsh criticism I got as a kid was a result of others’ bias, not my own actions.

Depression.  I’ve struggled with depression on and off throughout my life.  It’s caused me to feel extremely hopeless and worthless at times.  Because I’m autistic, there are certain things I struggle immensely with doing or cannot do at all.  I lose a lot of agency because of this and it often makes me feel useless.  I try to keep in mind that just because there are things I struggle with, there’s a lot that I’m good at, and that even if I can’t do something, there are ways to circumvent that.

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder.  I struggle with PMDD, which is a combination of physical, mental, cognitive, and emotional symptoms in the luteal phase that significantly interfere with daily life.  Many people simplify this to “extreme PMS,” a term that can be useful in helping others understand.  For me, being an autistic woman with PMDD means that during this time, I am often more sensitive to different stimuli, more irritable when things go wrong, and more likely to display my autism symptoms, as I feel generally careless about what I do and therefore am not as inclined to mask.  I take care of myself by completing my to-do list beforehand, making time and space to rest, saving money to spend during that time, and spoiling myself a bit by allowing whatever treats I’d like as long as they are within reason.

Complex PTSD.  Unlike the others on this list, I have not yet been professionally diagnosed with C-PTSD; however, I have been researching and reading forum posts for several months.  My primary care doctor agrees that I have a form of PTSD, though he does not have the authority to diagnose it.  I am currently looking for a therapist.  C-PTSD results from prolonged or ongoing trauma and results in symptoms that mirror PTSD as well as additional mental and emotional difficulties.  For me, the symptoms of emotional dysregulation and dissociation can combine with autistic hypersensitivity and cause an episode to mix with overstimulation or meltdown.  I also tend to go into hypoarousal, a state in which I am generally unresponsive to stimuli, feel unable to go on, and can appear dead or passed out.  Because this condition is a new discovery that I am still trying to figure out, it’s almost become a special interest, since I want to analyze and find solutions as much as possible.  I also become preoccupied with the trauma and abusers, trying to find out why it happened and how I can stay away from these people.  Additionally, because I’m autistic, many people tend to downplay my trauma and symptoms, dismissing them as just my disorder, something that worsens what I go through.  I’m trying to cope with all of this by seeking professional help, recognizing my triggers, avoiding harmful situations, talking to my friends, and wearing makeup and head coverings to help me feel safer.

Trichotillomania.  Trichotillomania is typically self-diagnosed.  Trichotillomania is a repetitive body-focused disorder that involves compulsive hair-pulling.  For me, I often pluck out my eyelashes and eyebrows.  Usually, this happens when I’m bored or stressed.  Because I’m autistic, this can also happen when I’m over or understimulated.  Though it doesn’t affect me as much as my other conditions, I’m trying to be mindful of my actions related to trich, keep busy, and cover my bald spots with makeup if I feel a need.

While I do have a lot of conditions that often mix with each other, I’m doing my best to learn, manage them, spread awareness, and be happy in life.